Hey, Rube

An excerpt from ‘The Last Meh of Chick Valentine’ – Copyright © 2017 by Michael Kuch

THE BREAKFAST CROWD AT THE KENSINGTON DELI

Thinned into a small queue waiting to pay their checks.

A quartet of dink-faced hipsters, freshly smug and failing reverence, postured around the front door, snot deep in their smart phones to notice Chick Valentine as he slipped past. Continue reading “Hey, Rube”

My Sexual Orientation Needs No Explanation: Curious Confessions Of An Obviously Straight Man With Bigger Issues

IT’S NOT WHAT YOU’RE THINKING

What’re you Adorable Little Doubters thinking?

Let’s start with the facts – obvious, fabricated or otherwise – liberated for sensational effect, a requisite for scripting this gem of undeniable irrelevance.

It’s been bugging my ass – right, my puns are always intentional, off-mark and ill-executed – for almost 30 years.

Here’s how it goes …
Continue reading “My Sexual Orientation Needs No Explanation: Curious Confessions Of An Obviously Straight Man With Bigger Issues”

My Passport Renewal Ordeal: A Plea of Clemency to Neuter Redundancy

NOTHING SIPHONS THE VIRILITY OF LIFE FROM ME

Or chafes my undercarriage so excruciatingly raw, as the Soul-extracting ordeal of renewing government-issue ID.

Arguably, surpassed only by the irreverent Ontario Motor Vehicle Licensing Offices for grandiose ineptitude, time-whoring stalls, and their inimitable mantra of: Continue reading “My Passport Renewal Ordeal: A Plea of Clemency to Neuter Redundancy”