My Mirror Has Big Issues

THE THING IS

We’re At An Irreconcilable Impasse … 

Mirrors and me.

We disagree on everything.

From Daily Grooming to What Looks Best and What Doesn’t … 

“Does My Head Look Bigger Than My Butt In These Jeans?”

If you say so.

Pretty Much All Of It All The Time.

BITTER RIVALS

We Were Once Besties, Inseparable Mates …

We went everywhere together.

“So, How’d It Go So Wrong, Mick?”

The Truth.

Neither one of us was capable of telling it.

Then Resentment.

THE DROP

We Started Keeping Secrets From Each Other … 

Lies.  Lies.  Lies.

We drifted apart.

Okay, I was unfaithful …

“Started Flirting With Other Mirrors.”

And, yes, it was unfulfilling.

Cheap.  Shameful.  Regrettable.

Too Proud To Apologize.

THE SAME OLD

It’s Like This …

I’m not about to Play The Blame Game.

Stoop down to that level.

Or, point fingers at who started it.

But, you should know …

“It Wasn’t Me.”

It never is.

Fine.

AND, THIS

We Can Be Insensitive … Disparaging … Meanies …

Staring at each other without saying a word.

As though we’ve never met.

Dead Cold Silence.

Uncomfortable Minutes Pass.

MOMENTS FROZEN

Waiting …  Suffocating …  Baiting …  

The other’s first move.

Blink.

You lose.

WE BLINK

At Precisely The Same Moment … 

Surprised, not.

Two of many things We Hate To Admit we have in common.

Bad Timing and Bad Attitudes.

FOR THE MOMENT

It’s Best Better This Way …  

Shutting up.

“We’re Not Talking.”

A momentary truce – My Idea By The Way – to appease the stubbornness and egregious slant in both of us.

So, what’s the point, if we can’t even Agree to Disagree?

EVERYWHERE

My Mirror Watches Me … 

Gloating.  Smug as a bug.

Dirty Looks.

Throwing Shade.

Casting Doubt.

Serious Side Eye.

FRANKLY

How It Is …   

“My Mirror Is A Bit Much – An Unkind Passive-Aggressive Bully – Poking, Prodding, Tormenting, Crowding Me … All Up In My Face.”

Like that.

Not Cool, Carl.

AND, ME?

An Innocent Lamb, I Am … 

“A Baby Slice of ‘Aw, Shucks’ Humble Pie Trying To Get By, Thanks.”

Don’t you know.

A Couple Of Big, Fat Liars.

REFLECTING, DEFLECTING

Is What We Do … 

Manipulating Truth:

“To Conveniently Distort And Assuage The Burden Of Accepting A Reality That Is …  To Dissuade The Multiplicity of Lies Cloaked In A Fabrication Of Truth Re-Imagined.”

Something like that.

Getting Bent Out.

MY MIRROR

Feigning Back At Me In My Bathroom … 

Slouching in my barber’s chair.

Voguing at the gym.

The Bloody Bastard thinks it actually knows me better than I do.

We’ll See About That.

THE UNBEARABLE PLIGHT

Of A Recovering Narcissist …

Is Acceptance of One Universal Truth.

In seeing How Life Truly Is rather than crafting a pliable reality construed to best serve Self.

“Narcissists Are Masters In the Art of Self Delusion, Denial of Truth and Self Enablers.”

Self Anything.

BREAKING BAD HABITS

Addiction To Self and Adoration Of Self …  

Doesn’t come easily to hardened practitioners.

Praying at the Altar of Self.

The Antithesis of Self Love.

FUN FACT CONFESSION

Six Handy Dandy Times … 

My Mirror Lied To Me.

And I Lied Right Back ..

In Its Face.

#1) MY FIRST GRAY HAIR

A Shallow Anomaly I Once Fretted Feverously About … 

An Unspeakable Conspiracy Against Humankind.

I suffered Alone In Vain – In The Special Way – I Do Best.

The Indignity.

The Horror.

“An Abomination Of All That Is Youthful And Virile.”

How could I have possibly sprouted A Single Defiant Strand of Silver?

Of course, some Nefarious Hater planted it there.

Why Me?

#2) OH, NO YOU DIDN’T

Take A Selfie Of Your Reflection …

Uh, yeah, I did.

Snapped a few several way-too-many.

Bunches of them.

So, I could nail the wait for it … Perfect Pic.

Really.

In the Ugly Face of Vanity.

#3) MORPHING

Gently, Inescapably …  Aged With Grace … 

Or whatever passes for dignity and eloquence these days.

Lines.  Lines.  Lines.

These beautiful blessed Lines … 

“Reveal Much Of What I’ve Hidden And Mask What I May Never Accept.”

Etched by Fate.

Testimonial Scars Touched By The Love Of God That I Have Lived.

#4) THE FELLOW

Looking Back At Me …

Resembles A Guy I Once Knew.

Thought I knew from way, way back in the day.

Not sure if I miss him or not.

Want him back in my life?

“There’s Not Room In Here For Both Of Us, Bud.”

So, there he is.

Somewhere in there.

Imperfectly Okay.

#5) SHAME THE BODY

Rock That Body … 

Indecisive.

Confused.

About what’s it going to be.

How’s it going to look?

This Mortal Vessel.

Why Does It Matter?

#6) BLUE

Not Hazel … 

I was corrected once.

Long time ago.

How could I be so wrong?

I didn’t know …

Not to see the color of my own eyes?

VANITY GOGGLES

Don’t Help …

When Doubt and Fear Conspire.

To defeat us.

“Whenever We Fail To Recognize And Learn Our True Faults … Are Gifted Opportunities To Invite And Accept Faith Into Out Hearts.”

MISJUDGEMENT OF SELF

My Mirror Lies.

Reflecting My Lies.

These Are My Lies.

POST SCRIPT

I Don’t Vogue.

Ever.

Even when Voguing was a thing.

Was it ever a thing?

Looking at you, Madonna.

In The Mirror.

 

Photo by Pixabay

 

7 thoughts on “My Mirror Has Big Issues

  1. inhiscare753

    Good One Sir,

    You Title and Words are Eye catching. I can’t stop laughing, at first glance. Reading deeper, they insightfully spoke to me. Thanks for reading! Happy Blogging😊

    Sometimes our Mirrors are like those in the Fun House at the Carnival. Hiding in Mazes and Fazes Telling Lies. Only To Amuse Themselves. You Find Yourself Hitting Walls. Yonnie💜🌸

    Liked by 1 person

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