AS BLUE GETS
What the marketing Automobil Volks in Stuttgart – Schwabenmetropole – call it.
But, in their local Swabian dialect. Schturget. Schtuagerd.
Teutonic … Just Like It Sounds.
COLOR. COLOUR. COLORE.
It’s Been A Pile Of Years (Too Long) Since …
Anything – So Unapologetically … So Inescapably … So Impossibly … So Perfectly … So Divinely … So Blue – usurped my attention:
“I’m Smitten In The Worst Way Imaginable.”
By Brilliant Blue Metallic.
FUN FACT CONFESSION #1
Why So Blue?
Conflicted, really. And, yeah, my lingering guilt isn’t going away. Color-shamed, I am.
“Because I’m A Devoted ‘Purple Guy’ – Conveniently, Now Un-Closeted – Who Knew?”
… Purple Centrism is a Fabulous Thing – Grapes, Violets and Prince – The Love Child Of A Sordid Tryst Of Blue & Red … Nature’s Truest Valentine.
FUN FACT CONFESSION #2 Not Many Nearly Enough Hardly Any People Buy Purple Cars Today … End Spoiler Alert … Would You?
Mostly, I suspect, as too few Regal-hued offering’s are available. And, also, its not 1974.
Save, for the good folks at Mopar (Dodge) – fanatic Colorists of the Cartoonish Plum Krazy Purple (Hemi Challengers).
Now, Once Upon A Time … In Detroit … so did their corporate Cugino, craft Purple Jeeps … an act considered blasphemous to the hardcore brand aficionado’s …
GIVING A DAMN ®
Is What I Do (*) … So, I’m Giving A Sloppy, Huggable ‘Hey, Now’ …
A Big Break … To The Others – Them – Those 7 Million:
Occasionally Whenever-They-Feel-Like-Being-Congenial–Motorists … In this uber congested, super-sized Hamlet called, “Hades North”.
… And, I’m Nearly Always Good At It (*).
THE AZUL ENSHRINED SOB
Smirking Back At You … Smug Behind The Polarized Aviators … In Your Rear View Mirror?
“Yeah, Its Me, Darling. Not Driving A Black, White, Silver or Greige
We’ve got enough Meh-Hued Urban Tanks Clogging The Roads, so let’s brighten up the path just a bit.
… You’re All The Way Welcome, Toronto.
FUN FACT CONFESSION #3
I Lose My Car About Every Third Day … In Every Parking Lot … On The Street … On My Driveway …
Occasionally, on purpose.
With Brilliant Blue Metallic …
“That Shouldn’t Be A Problem Any Longer. Unless I Make It A Problem. I Don’t Want A Problem.”
WHILE I’M HARPING SHAMELESSLY ON HIGHER GROUND
I’m Not An SUV Guy … Had A Cherokee In The Way, Way Back … Wintery Fun …
I prefer to drive with my tail close to the ground. Sunroof open. Elbow out. Cruisin’.
I like looking up – not down – at people when I drive … Unless, I’m Admiring Their Feet, which I seldom do.
And, while Size Matters: Smaller Is Always Better, Right? – Said No One Ever Driving A Monster Truck.
My First Car Was An Entirely Neglected, 1973 Oldsmobile Omega (Poor Dude’s Chevy Nova) … Sprayed A Spritely Zodiac Blue … Tinted With Reddish-Brown Rust In All The Wrong Places …
Split vinyl bench seats up front covered in a sheathing of confiscated Hotel Towel and Silver Duct Tape. Honest ride, it was. Owed me nothing. Got me around.
Made-It-To-Florida and back in August 1985; driving 2,200 miles in chunky, mismatched winter tires. At least 2 of the 4 were white walls.
… Dropped the transmission on another trip to Virginia – during peak rush hour – on the I-495 Capital Beltway …
BACK TO NEW BLUE
I Haven’t Told Carl … Yet …
He’s touchy about such things.
Like bringing home strays. Vacuuming. Loud noises.
… Again, With The Attachment Issues.
FUN FACT CONFESSION DIGRESSION OBSESSION
Yep, I’m Going To Oktoberfest … Keeping With The Decidedly German Theme … Down Munich Way …
One Day. With Das Jungen. We’ll sing Ein Prosit after 99 Luftballons and Der Komissar.
“Gunter Glieben Glauten Globen.”
Quaff Bavarian Lager from Liter Steins – Nosh on Brat & Kraut – Funk Out To Oompah Polka … Dance, Dance, Dance.
IF ITS NOT ILLEGAL
I’ll Wear Lederhosen … I’ve Been Told I’ve Got The Calves For It … And, The Requisite Lack Of Decorum To Pull It Off …
Just. Like. That.
Capping my extra medium-sized melon with a Bavarian Alpine Hat (With Side Feather).
Just. Like. Pinocchio.
THE SILVER SWEDE
Volvo And I Are Done … Ride’s Over, Honey … Its Been An
Unforgettable Past 3 Years …
Time For A Change.
She’ll find a new home.
… A Sensible Accountant. Teacher. Retired Somebody.
BLUE’S COMING HOME TODAY
It’s Been A Long Time … Since I Was In The 7th Grade … When My Infatuation Began …
Then, I spotted a toy car modelers kit in the local hobby store. I’d eyeballed it the entire summer. Scraped enough scratch and laid down the shekels. Brought it home.
My dilemma. What color would I paint it? I settled on White. My least favorite car color for the exterior. It worked. And, Blue for the interior.
… That Part I Got Right.
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