Call Me Mike, If You Like


Perhaps, It’s Just A Silly Summer Fad, Phenomena, Really …  Trending – #Mike – If You Haven’t Noticed …      

I suppose the Em momentum will fade in the Fall.  Maybe, not.

If the throngs of Mike Revisionists/Revolutionaries/Satirists don’t make this thing go viral.

… I Can Only Hope.


In The Past Few Weeks, Precisely 3 (Or Possibly 4) Times Someone Has Called Me … Wait For It … Mike … 

Actually, three asked permission.  One didn’t:

“Mind If I Call You Mike?”  “Do You Prefer Mike or Michael?”  “Do You Like Being Called, Mike?”  “Hey, Mike.”

I answered,

“Yeah, No.”  “Neither, All The Time.”  “It’s My Name, Don’t Wear It Out.”  “Who Are You?”


Because No One Asked … The Last Time My Name Got So Much Attention …   

I was in Court.  I practised saying my name … In the mirror During Happy Time, Right.

Either.  Aye-thur.  Ma-Hike. 

… Just.  Like.  It.  Sounds.


If You Know Me …  


Easy to memorize.

… Easier To Forget.


If We’ve Never Met …   

Whenever I fill out forms.

By Traffic Cops.  Telemarketers.  CRA.

… Whenever I Meet Other Guys Named Mike.


To Some …  Mick Easy … 

Whenever I refer myself in The 3rd Person …  The Tao of Self-Deprecating

Which is a little creepy and just weird.  I need to stop this, Mick.

Carl, Mostly.


mee-KEH-ley … like Ukulele … not mee-SHEL.

An Italian thing.  Pisan.  Capisce?

Like Mee-GAY.  One friends calls me this.  How he says it.

And, another, Mee-GAY-Lootz.  Obviously, I need new friends.


According To Every Web Source … 

Michael is the masculine proper noun originated in the ancient Hebrew question, מי כאל (mī kāʼēl:

“Who is like God?”

… So, I’ve Got That Going For Me.


MEE-sha … MEE-sha … MEE-sha … 

Having My Jan Brady Flashback Moment.

And, also, from my Mikhail Days as a Bohemian Artster in the Way, Way Back.

… Never Mind.  Ancient.  History.  Oversharing Is Caring.


Once … 

By her.

Oops …

… There You Go.



Whoever’s Sad Idea Of A Mean Practical Joke It Was To Create This Name? 

Nice one, really.  Very funny.  Fine.  Small mercy for being unknown.

… So Thankful Fame Eluded Me.


Mikey Works, Too.

Every time.

Like those colorful M&M’s

… Anyone Will Do.


Photo by Caio Resende







4 thoughts on “Call Me Mike, If You Like

  1. Erica/Erika

    Hi Mike/Michael, since I have been writing as Erica/Erika (separate future story:)

    Nice to meet you! I have been browsing through your posts. Fun, thought-provoking, unique, creative:)

    I will start with “Michael” since we have never met:)

    I look forward to reading more of your posts Michael:)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Michael A. Kuch

      Hi, Erica/Erika. Thank you for visiting. Please browse away. My writing is all over the place … reflective of my interests, state-of-mind, idiosyncrasies, etc. Trying to catch up on reading many of the incredible blogs and posts. Island life must be wonderful. Came very close to moving to the west coast for school at UBC a bunch of years ago, but stayed back east … Will read lots more on Behind the Scenery.

      Liked by 1 person

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