Canadian Pie

SORRY, EH?

Crazy Canucks …

Apologizing every time We Open The Door For Strangers.

What ‘We The North’ Does.

… We Do It Well.

NORTHERN COUSINS

Like Genteel Southern Hospitality … With A Cool Refreshing Breeze … 

You’ll like Love Us Just The Way We Are.

Humble.  Modest.  Self-Deprecating.

… (Mostly) Nice Neighbours, Though We’ve Started Shooting One Another … 

NO WALLS

To Keep Us In … Or, To Keep Them Other Folks Out … That’s Just Not Our Way … 

Sure, we’ve got issues …  Big, Canadian Issues.

“We Know Who We Are, So There’s No Confusion About Our Identity Anymore.”

… Never Was.

CANADIEN 100% CANADIAN

Either Way …   

Pure as Sweet Syrup from Maple.

Tough As Bark.

… We Don’t Mind The Cold.

WE’RE PROUD GOOFS

We Adore Truly Terrible Coffee … 

And, glazed donut holes.

We like anything covered in snow.

… Or Slides On Ice.

GRACIOUS

When We Lose … 

Humble

When We Win.

… We’re Good Either Way … How It Should Be.

TALK TO ME

Pourquoi?

Mandarin.  Cantonese.  Punjabi.

Haven’t you heard?

It’s All Canadian, Darling?

OUR STRIPES

Have Many Colours … 

Diverse Cultures melting into One.

Acronyms with many letters.

And A Couple Big Red One’s Anchoring The Maple Leaf.

WE’RE INTOLERANT SOBS

About Hate, Racism, Sexism … 

Though We Don’t Always Get It Right.

Not perfect, you should know.

… Reparations for Indigenous Peoples?  

WE’RE A BIT LIKE THE SWISS

Without Their Clever Army Knife … 

Neutral-ish.

Accountable.  Trustworthy.  Affable.

… Resourceful Tribe We Tend To Overachieve – When No One’s Watching – But You Wouldn’t Know It.

A PASSIVE HERD

Until We’re Opposed On Ice …

And, then go Full Medieval on each other.

You may have heard our call.

… Oh, Canada!

WE’RE ALREADY GREAT AT WHAT MATTERS

If You Haven’t Noticed …

And, that’s quite okay.

We’re working on getting better all the time.

… You’re Welcome To Come On Up And Join Us.

OUR MONEY IS LOONIE

That’s A Canadian Buck … About $0.76 American … 0.68 € … 

We Offer Great Discounts on just about everything, including our money, to investors and vacationers.

Stop Buying Our Properties.  Please.  &.  Thank You.

… Seriously, Its Made Many Of Our Real Estate Markets Unaffordable To The Average Canuck.

DON’T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU HEAR

About Hockey … Beer … Beavertails … 

Poutine or The Ballet?

It’s Not What You Think …

… Whatever You’re Thinking, We’ll Change Your Mind.

WE CAN TAKE A JOKE

As Well As Give One … We Breed Funny Guys & Gals … To The Bone …

Like:

Jim Carrey.  Mike Myers.  Norm MacDonald.  John Candy.  Dan Ackroyd.  Eugene Levy.  Seth Rogen.  Jay Baruchel.  Russell Peters.  Will Arnett.  Dave Thomas.  Michael J. Fox. … Andrea Martin (*).  Catherine O’Hara.  Mary Walsh.  Caroline Rhea.  Nia Vardalos … 

… To Name A Few.

HOSERS

Not Every One Of Us Claims To Be A …

Frostback.

Snowbird.

 … We Do Toques Justice.

EH?

How You Answer A Question With A Question … 

Not every time.

“How’s It Goin’, Eh?”

 … Whenever It Matters.

CANADA SINGS

Drizzy and Beebs … What Can I Say?

I’m not one to Rush to conclusions about musical phenoms.

That’d be Tragically Hip.

Guess Who? I’m listening to today … Gordon Lightfoot.  Celine.  Michael Buble. Shania. Leonard Cohen.

CANNABIS CANADA

Marijuana Is Legal In Canada … Since 2018 … 

And, No One Really Cares.

Including Potheads.

… That’s Not True.

CANADIAN PIE

I’d Say, Tourtière … French-Canadien/ne As It Gets … 

Vegans Look Away. And, back.

Of, course, there’s a plant-based version.

… Canadians, Loveably IrresistibleIn Our Humble Way.

 

Photo by Brett Sayles

 

14 thoughts on “Canadian Pie

    • Michael A. Kuch

      Howdy. Big Confession, Erica … Typically, I drop the “U” in spelling throughout my posts. Not so much being lazy or Americanized, but it seems to be a more acceptable style of journalistic writing in English. In the Colonies, at least. It saves on digital ink, too. That sounded so Canadian. Apologizing. Sorry, eh.

      Liked by 1 person

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