I’VE LOOKED EVERYWHERE
Except Where I Left It …
I’ll check that place later
If I can remember to remember
… Where That Place Is.
FUN FACT CONFESSION OBSESSION
I Have Two Library Cards … Which Is Exactly The Correct Number To Have …
Of course, I do. We’re Wordy Folks, Right?
Reading and Writing is what we do.
… When We Should Be Doing Other Things.
SO, WHAT’S IN MY WALLET?
Current Issue. Vaughan Public Library Card. Plasticky. Etched with Big Brother’s nefarious Bar Code. 14 Digits Too Many.
Swipe. Swipe. Swipe. Track. Track. Track. There you found me. Applauso. Nabbed me, red-handed:
“Signing Out A Loaner Book … On A Wednesday Of All Days … In The Afternoon … My, My, How You’ve Fallen, Mick?”
A book I’ll return 28 Days Later – a week late – just so I can pay the Past Due Fine all in the good name of supporting Public Libraries in My Little Patch of Earthly Paradise.
GEEK DATING PROFILE DRAFT #1
VPL Member. White Card. Since 1992.
Geek Smith Adonis. Doesn’t Need Use Spëlkheck. Grammar Schmammar.
Plays Scrabble Solo… Wins Nearly Every Time … Doesn’t Cheat. And, Yes: Qi and Xu are words. 2-Letter Dynamo’s. Big Points.
AND THIS CRITICAL DIGRESSION
I Once Packed More Unnecessary Membership Cards Into My Slim Wallet …
I’m now fully cured of FOTOS: Fear Of Tossing Out Sh!t …
Like my insufferably hip Kinton Ramen points card. Stamped once. Only 9 more for a free bowl of Shoyu.
Almost Adorable Rant-And-Rub-Of-The-Moment: I’d be over-joyed to the threshold of tickled pink, if they’d just validate parking. Because two bowls of salty brine, chunk/slice of something chewy, but not immediately identifiable, and thick, gummy noodles shouldn’t cost north of $50. Saturday Lunch for a deuce.
MY FIRST LIBRARY CARD
Is The Only One That Matters … Its Irreplaceable … Dear To Me …
Constructed of heavy vanilla card stock back when paper was our friend. Vintage. Its dulled edges chafed and frayed as they should be considering its esteemed provenance and age.
Like it could’ve been a key prop in Once Upon A Time … In Hollywood.
… So, Yeah, It’s That Cool.
ALL THE IMPORTANT ENTRIES ARE TYPED
I’d Guess By An Era-Correct Dinosaur Of An Old Clunker, The Color Of A Ripened Avocado … Bones Creaked, Binged, Pinged …
I’m talking about the typewriter, not the Librarian.
Bluish letters smudged by the sugary slush juice of a melted Orange Popsicle.
… Have You Seen It?
I’ll Find It Listed on eBay or Kijiji or Craig’s List …
I actually checked yesterday. Wasn’t there.
Because I am an insatiable and practicing Doofus with a hard slant toward Delusional …
You never know When – Now An If – I’ll Come To My Senses.
IN THE OLD NEIGHBORHOOD
I Lived 69 Metres/Yards Away … From Parkdale Public Library … Not A Minute Walk Down The Street …
Past the small Italian Grocer. Antonino’s Pizzeria. Hardware Store.
At the corner of Queen Street West and Cowan Avenue … Where The Ladies-In-Red Paraded In Daylight. The Pusher’s Pushed. Hustler’s Hustled.
… Sex, Drugs & Books.
Rainy Days … Spent There …
When failing to scrape enough spare coins – delivery groceries – to get a ticket to the double bill playing at the KUM-C Theatre further east on Queen.
And, when matinee movies were beyond my budget or the library not on the day’s activity docket
It Was Pencil & Paper. Imagination. Creation. Too Hungry To Be Bored.
ABOUT THE DEWEY DECIMAL SYSTEM
I Was A Fixture at The 700 Class … Art. Architecture. Sports.
Curious browser of the 900’s … History. Geography. Travel.
Committed to The Higher 500 Class … Zoology. Animals.
… How I Remember It.
Is The Second Sweetest Vehicle …
Next to the Batmobile. The Original. By George Barris.
If Mattel had made a Hot Wheel version of it, I would’ve whined my mother into submission for one.
… I Know They’re Still Out There, But I Haven’t Seen A Bookmobile Unit In Far Too Many Years, And That’s Not Okay.
MY ALL TIME FAVORITE CHILDRENS BOOKS
Curious George … The Original (1941) in the series – by H.A. Rey & Margaret Rey
My Dog Spot by Jack E. Levin and Norma R. Levin
Stone Soup by Ann McGovern
Cat In The Hat by Theodor Geisel (Dr. Seuss)
A LITTLE LATER …
Lord Of The Flies by William Golding
And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie
To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee
Jaws by Peter Benchley.
ALL GROWN UP-ISH …
The Old Man And The Sea by Ernest Hemingway
Get Shorty by Elmore Leonard
The Apprenticeship of Duddy Kravitz by Mordecai Richler
The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren
Photo by Anni Roenkae from Pexels