The Lululemon Posse

BAD GIRLS

Beep.  Beep.

Not Talking About You.  But, Her, That Ewe.  You’re No Sweet Innocent Lil’ Lamb.

“When Diva Terrorista Meets Too Much Time On Those Manicured Claws.”

Spewing Bitter.  All Over The Barn Yard.  The Web is your Evil Pasture.

 

SOME MEAN GIRLS

Never Grow Up … 

Because They’ve Got ‘No Place To Glow’ … 

“… And The Shrine Of ‘Its Always-Only-Ever-Been-And-Always-Will-Be-All-About-Me’ Has Tarnished.”

The Sparkling Tiara that once crowned The Golden Highlights, has morphed into a dark sinister Tarantula nesting in the Mane Of Their Disdain.

 

SPANDEX BALLET

Stretchy.  S-t-r-e-t-c-h.  Capri’s is It?

Calves doing the Hokey-Pokey.  Hey, is Goat Yoga still trending?  Or, have we moseyed back to Palates with Pot-bellied Pigs?  Because that was just the thing I never wanted to do.

“What’s PETA’s Official Stance On Underwater Plyometrics With Piranhas?”

To top it off – Intentional Pun Spoiler Alert – the innocuous Baller Cap always cometh and never leaveth the Pretty Melon, does it now?

 

AND, WHEN ITS NOT HAT DAY

Dirty Bun.  Just for Fun.

Look at Ewe, Pony Tail poking through.

More Lulu.  Less Lemon.

If I Had My Way.

 

KEYBOARD TERRORISM

Is The Biggest Threat The Planet Faces To …     

Being Nice.  Common Decency.  Curing Hate.

“A Place To Lay Hate & Ignorance At The Altar Of Social Media.”

The Comfy Gateway to Deeper Hate thrives there.

 

WHAT’S THIS ABOUT?

Bad Girls Behaving Badly …   

Of course, it is.  Not in a Naughty Way.  Wouldn’t that be Nice?

Privilege Over Decency.  Entitled (Self) Over Appreciation (Others).  Predatory Opportunists.

Posturing to Hedge Ransom Demands by defaming good character of Ordinary Folks online … aka, Mercantile Extortion.

 

FUN FACT CONFESSION:  SH!TSTORM

In My Chosen Career Hustle, I’m Too Frequently Called Upon … To Assuage The Lunacy Permeating Inside And Outside The Workplace … 

“To Mitigate Elevated Idiocy Between Elevated Idiots.”

Truce it out with the Internal and External Hellions: Blame-Mongering, Feces-Flinging Smack-Blubbering Combatants, which too often are Mothers, Daughters, Wives, Sisters, The Other Woman.  And, a couple of B!tchy Boys.

It Happened This Week.  Only Twice.  Slow Day.

 

I’M ABOUT A COOLER

She’s About A Mover … Hey, Hey … What I Say …  

Simmer Down The Scissor-Kicking Rockettes.  Divert Office Cannibalism.   Sorry, Plant-based Carnivores.  Decommission Testosterone.  Not Everything is War.

“I’ve Already Banned Halloween Candy.  So, If This Childish Sh!t Doesn’t End, I’m Taking Away The Espresso Machine … Do I Really Need To Bring Back ‘Fascist Fridays’?”

… Which is going to hurt Me more than Ewe.

 

LADY BALLS FOR GOOD NOT EVIL

Doing Cool Lady Ballsy Stuff …  Strength.  Conviction.  Proud.

“Being Who You Were Born To Be.”

Spoiler Alert:  Unbridled Hate isn’t Courage.  Cowardice isn’t Strength.  Sh!tting On Others isn’t Pride.  They’re not even close.

“Don’t Need No Hateration, Holleratin’.  The Way Mary J. Sings It.”

 

P.A.T.S.Y.

Passive Aggressive Thugs Sh!tting Yakety-Yak …  

Random Acronym.

Seems to fit …

“Nearly As Good As Those Capri’s, Darling.”

 

CYBER BULLIED SHAMED

It Happened.  Last Month.  And, I Didn’t Like It … No, I Ditten.

Cowardice is Cheap & Plentiful, which is Why its Practiced Far & Wide.  If anyone had to pay the price for Cowardice, well, it’d be short line, wouldn’t it?

“Culpability is a Teflon-coated Myth?”

Lies.  Lies.  Lies.  Are Unnecessary When Truth Gets it Done.

 

ADULT BITCHING

Is An Ugly Growth Industry …

Showing No Signs of Slowly Down.

It’ll peak during the extended Holiday Season, then regain its vigor as some Doofus or Dinkus will claim Vengeance & Retribution as a New Year’s Resolutions.

… When Humankind Loses All Its Love On Black Friday.

 

I BITE BACK

You May Not Feel It …  

But, It’ll Leave A Lovely Mark.

Deeper than an Impression

… If You Give Me The Last Word.

 

WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONCELLO …

It Means You’re Privileged, Arguably Cultured … Sip It.  Drift Away.  To The Amalfi Coast … 

Smile, Darling.  You ain’t going to hurt anything.  The Botox can take it. (Yeah, I did).

Relax.  You Can Forget All About Making Lemons.  Take It Easy.

… The Hard Work’s Already Done.

“Resentment Is Like Taking Poison And Waiting For The Other Person To Die.” 

– Malachy McCourt

 

“Bad Girls” Lyrics – Songwriters: D.A. Summer, B.C. Sudano, J.P. Esposito, E.P. Hokenson.  © Warner Chappell Music, Inc.

“She’s About A Mover” Lyrics – Songwriter: Doug Sahm. © Carlin America Inc.

“Family Affair” Lyrics – Songwriters: A. Young, A. Lewis, B. Miller, C.Y. Kambon, L. N. Lodge, M.J. Blige, M.C. Bradford, M.A. Elizondo.  © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., Universal Music Publishing Group, Spirit Music Group, BMG Rights Management

Photo by Lukas from Pexels

 

 

 

 

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