Girls Night Out (Act Two)

TURNED OUT TO BE A BIG “DRAG”

Literally, As In … The Rocky Horror Picture Show … Fo Sho!

An unwatchable parade of Tuck n’ Taped – Female Impersonators – Doing The Time Warp.

The Opening Number at The Opening (Night) of a new Interior Design Joint.

Hmmm is Right.

 

THE MISTRESS OF CEREMONY

Was A Screamer, Honey … She … Her

Here It Goes:

“Carrot Top meets Joan Rivers meets Beyoncé.”

All-in-One.  Un-See-Able Package.  It Wasn’t Pretty.

 

ALRIGHT, I’M A GAMER

With 6 Girls Dropping Out … 

Thank You, Unholy Carrier of Cold & Flu Virus Spreading The Germ Love …  

We tried to make a fun night of it.

But, I Scare Easily.

 

WHAT SCARES ME?

Bad Makeup … On Heinous Creatures-Of-The-Night …  

Drag Queens.  Clowns.  The Fabulous Monsieur Tangelo.

Adam’s Apples.  Mimes.  Cher Impersonators and Cher.

“Mascara And 5 O’clock Shadows.”

 

I NEARLY JUMPED OUT OF MY COSTUME

When Dr. Frank-N-Furter – A Scientist – Corseted … Stillettoed … Gartered Up … Working The Door … 

Spooked The Crap Out Of Me.

“Dude Looked Like A Lady!”

Yeah, Not So Much There, Sport … Antoine, Is That You, Darling?

 

ITS POSSIBLE I REALLY DO HATE HALLOWEEN PARTIES

Despite Being A Fun Guy …

Known To Have A Liberal Sense of His Own Humor/Humour.

“Occasionally, I’m A Little Too Cynical And Judgmental To Let It Slide …” 

So, there’s that annoying, irksome Pinch Of Hypocrisy Slipping Out.

 

HAUTE COSTUME

Being The Resourceful & Kurious Kat That I Am … 

The best I could muster with the least amount of effort – Give A Sh!t – in the shortest time, was come up with two ideas for silly dress up.  Hell, I’m Barely Comfortable In My Own Exfoliated & Moisturized Skin …

Both options contemplated on the drive to work.

Unremarkably, either one could/would/should get all the way by using anything from my wardrobe staples.

 

TA DA …

So, Out I Went – Dressed Up – As A Clone

Of Myself.  With A Hook.  You know, I can’t even spell Lmae.

People looked.  Right.  Didn’t Get It.

I had to explain … Why Only I Found It Amusing … like this post.

 

THE NERDY LANYARD STRUNG AROUND MY NECK

Explained To Curious Onlookers:

“Yes, This Is A Costume.  I’m A &%$#@!’ing Clone.  Perfect In Every Way.  An Exact DNA Replica Of The Original Mike.”

On the back, A Disclaimer:

#1.  You Don’t Know Me.  You Know Him.  He’s Not Me.

#2.  I Have Complete Immunity From Prosecution Of Any Thought Crime, including Judgement and Dumb Things I Will Say.  I wasn’t designed with a Filter.

#3.  Do NOT Serve Me Alcohol.  Under any circumstance.  Clones have an intolerance to Booze (See #2 and #10).

#4.  Please Feed Me.  Cheese is okay.  Not all Clones are Lactose intolerant.  I prefer Brie De Meaux.  Or, Roi de Trefle Camembert. 

#5.  You should also know … Clones can be a Gassy Bunch … Just saying.

#6.  There Are 5 Of Us.  Here.  At The Party.  Can You Spot Them All?

#7.  I’m Model 3.  And, Yes, I Have Middle Clone Issues.  You Couldn’t Begin To Understand Identity Crisis …

#8.  Number 2 Is Invisible.  He’s Standing Behind You.  Please Don’t Stare.  He Doesn’t Like It When People Stare.

#9.  Frank-N-Furter.  Riff Raff.  Janet.  Are The Other Three.

#10.  Would You Like To Watch Me Dance?

I’d written it in Latin in fancy Romanian Cursive Script just the way Campy Vampyres like it.

 

PSA: ALERT

There Is Now A Global Shortage of …

Concealer.  Foundation.  Blush.  Eye Shadow.  Mascara.  Eye Liner.  Lipstick.  Tweezers.

Silicone.  The Crap Injected Into Lips.  Is that where Liposuction waste goes?  Recycle.  Reuse.  Re-Ew.

And, Good Taste.

 

I’M GETTING BETTER

At Spotting Adams Apples on She-Males …

Good enough that I’ll never have another Crying Game moment.

Add that to my Special Super Powers.

Said Captain Obvious To No One.

 

I’M DEMANDING

A Do Over … Quality Time … 

Something safe like Paint Ball on Skates.  Left-handed Pottery Classes.  Bobbing for Lollypops.

Or catching Australia’s Thunder From Down Under.  On Tour.  Close To Home.  End Of The Month.  Can’t Wait.

… For Girls Night Out (Act 3).

 

Original Photo by Michael Alves from Pexels

9 thoughts on “Girls Night Out (Act Two)

  1. Erica/Erika

    It sounds like Girl’s Night Out was visually entertaining, Michael. I agree on mascara and 5 o’clock shadows. Scary! The Clone is amusing to me. It might have taken me a few minutes to “get it.” Looking forward to the next instalment:) Glad you are feeling better.

    Liked by 1 person

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