Cracked Shells

IT’S NOT LIKE I GO BUNGY JUMPING

Sky Diving.  Rolling Bocce.  Rock Climbing.

On My Way Home From Grocery Shopping.

“My Free-Run Brown Eggs Rarely Make It To ‘Mi Casa es Su Casa’ The Way They Left The Chicken.”

… Maybe I Should.

 

SURELY, I DIDN’T BUY THEM CRACKED

I’ve Never Scanned The Dozen – ‘La Dozzina’ – With My iPhone 14s Flashlight / Torch

For Signs The Shells Have Been Breached By Some Unknown, Invasive Cracker Jack Creeping Around The Dairy Section.

“Being The Adorably Retentive Custodian of All Things Anal (You Know What I Mean).”

… Maybe I Could.

 

REMEMBER LAST SATURDAY’S CONFESSION

About How I Love Opening Packages In Dollar Store Hombre?

I Make No Exceptions For Any Carton Of Eggs, But I Don’t Inspect Every Darn One Of Them.

“I Just Do It For The Grande Pageantry And A Chance To Post A Selfie On Social Media So The World Knows That I Buy Eggs, And They Should Be Reminded Of It In Real Time.”

… It Also Helps Me Bond With The Local Chapter of Nonna Nation I’ve Got Serious Street Cred With Italian Grandmothers – In Case You Ever Need Something.  Seriously.”

 

6 BUCKS

Oughta Pay For Something More …  Like Insurance.  It’s A Protection Racket.

“Where’s The Warranty, Cluckety, Cluck-Cluck-Cluck?”

Going Back To The Customer Service Counter To Exchange The Dozen Will Only Cause Me To Write Another Post About The Damned Ordeal.

… You Know I Will.

 

Photo by Omran Jamal at Pexels

20 thoughts on “Cracked Shells

  1. Claudette

    See? The minute I have a meltdown about writing on a public forum you come up with the most ingenious way of writing on a topic that affects us all (and I am OUT of EGGS be that as it may) so thank you for the inspiration.

    But I still hate writing today, but I have to go to Costco which will probably enrage me in many minor ways until I erupt (again). That will almost definitely lead to my typing away furiously about a box store shopping fiasco, just for all of your reading pleasures…

    you. have. been. warned. 😛

    Liked by 1 person

    • Michael A. Kuch

      Too funny, Claudette.

      Seriously, it’s to the point that nearly every shopping experience has its pitfalls.

      I’m a fish out of water at CostCo. Thank God for the freebie treats or I couldn’t muster it.

      Write on! I can handle it 😳

      Liked by 1 person

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