Color Fool

BROWN & BLUE

Don’t Go Together … 

I Get It.  I’m Not Color Blind.  A Case Of Myopic Style Sense, Sure.

“But, That Didn’t Stop Me From Committing Treason Against The Rainbow Yesterday.”

… Or, Fashion Blasphemy.  Voluntarily Frump Day.  Got My Ew On.

 

FASHION CRIMES

Always Come Back To Haunt Its Victims … 

The Statute Of Limitations Is Limitless When You’ve Survived The Worst The 80’s Could Throw At You.

If Tried And Convicted I’ll Be In Contempt Of Good Taste.  Now, Who’s With Me?

… On The Advice Of My ConsigliereCarl – Ignoring Ignorance Isn’t Going To Help With My Plea Bargain.

 

FASHION BLASPHEMY

I’ve Rocked … The Quintessential Eh-Tees Ensemble:

Shark Skin (Teflon) Balloon Pants – Pre-Can’t Touch This, Hammer Time! – Tuxedo Shirt (Tab Collar Buttoned All-The-Way Up)

“Draped Under The Limiest, Lime Green Sweater-Jacket Ever Spun Through A Polyster-Molester Loom … Jacked Up With Extra Thick Shoulder Pads … To Balance Serious Big Hair.”

And, Still This Boy Band Flunky Escaped Prosecution … 

 

FUN FACT CONFESSION OBSESSION

I Was All About Miami Vice (Not Vanilla Ice) … 

Whenever Sonny Crockett (Don Johnson) Leapt Out Of His White Ferrari Testarossa (3rd Season, Crockett-philes …).

“Oh, The Angelic White Linen Suit Over A Turquoise Silk Tee.”

A Steal At $4,999 … Start The Ferrari, Ragazzi.

 

HOW THE BROMANCE STARTED

Since My GQ Subscription …

Richard GereArmani’d Up – in American Gigolo. 

Mickey Rourke’s Hair in The Pope Of Greenwich Village. 

Have I Man-Crushed … Talkin’ Platonic.

 

$14 REWARD (*)

To Anyone Who Can Prove I Rocked A Mullet … 

Exactly.  It Never Happened / It’s Going On My Epitaph.  Easily The Most Hurtful Conspiracy Of 1985.

Not On This Adorably Coiffed Melon.  One-Hair Style – As Shown – Celebrated Since The Way Back.

… (*) About What I Paid To Keep The Coif Tidy & Righteous … (**) Styling Mousse Not Included.

 

JUMP BACK

Kiss Myself … All The Way To Yesterday … Yester-Me … 

Feeling The “Don’t They Know It’s Still Autumn Snow Fest / Hell Froze Over Weather Shenanigans.

I Dressed Like A Bundle Of Joy.  More Bundle.  Than Joy.

… Brown & Blue – I’ve Had Enough, Already – I Want Spring To Arrive On Tuesday …  

 

DIG THIS HORROR SHOW

Chunky, Chocolatey Brown Corduroy Pants (Slim-ish Fit) … Are Still (Barely) Legal In The True North …

“Perriwinkle (Twinkle, Twinkle) Blue Sweater – Over Easy – A Burnt Orange Vintage Tee.  If A Parrot-On-Peyote Dressed A Grisly Bear on Halloween, You’d Know What I Mean.”

…  Pause … Yes, I Left The House / Went To Work / Talked To People / Bought Dish Soap … Pause … 

Looking Like An Alpaca With Holiday Fashion Consternation – Thanksgiving Or Easter? – Either Or, Not Both, My Woolly Friend.

 

STORE MANNEQUINS

Have Been My Biggest Fashion Influencers (After Crockett) … 

“Anatomically Inconvenienced.  Empathic.  Poor Things.”

Yeah, I Plagiarized Their Style.  Made It My Own.

… So, There’s That To Add To My Epitaph.

 

Photo by The Lazy Artist Gallery from Pexels 

21 thoughts on “Color Fool

    • Michael A. Kuch

      My goodness. I’ve always said clothing tags should include expiration dates … at least denoting the decade 😳. I have more concerns with folks wearing incorrect sizes (too small, too tight, pull it up/down) and inappropriate for the age. I mostly keep quiet about it.

      Liked by 1 person

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