Browser Wowser

TELL ME ITS NOT WEIRD

I’m Into Eyebrows.  Its Not A Fetish – Like Creepy Dudes Toes Deep Into Feet – What? 

Just A Cool Obsession:

“Eyebrows Matter More Than They Should In My Life.”

… Is Being Honest Still On The Safe Side Of Shallow?

 

AUGENBRAUEN • BRWI • CEJAS

Of The 39 Features I’m Inescapably Attracted To On A Woman’s Face … 

Let’s Keep It Above The Shoulders, Chachi.  Eyebrows Are A Perennial Top 3.  Meaning, Eyes, Lips And Nose Have Some Competition.

“Also, Sublime Deal Breakers …”

… Is Being Too Honest The Depths Of Shallowness?

 

HERE’S THE THING

I Don’t Have A Preference Of Style. Shape, Color, Yadacetera …

Whatever Works, Works.

But, Whatever Doesn’t

… We Should Talk About.

 

WHY BROWS?

They’re Like Pretty Picture Frames … 

For The Eyes.  Right, I Get Eyelashes Do Their Flashy, Batty, Butterfly Effect.  Two Are Always Better Than One, If Anyone’s Counting.  Frida Kahlo, Not So Much.

“Where’d We Be Without Brows?”

… What To Leave On, What To Take Out?

 

HAIR-THREADING: MEDIEVAL

Is It Even Legal?

Unwaxed Dental Floss – Violin Strings – Strung Tightly On A Miniature Crossbow.

I’m Never Trying This.  At Home.  Alone.

… I Suspect Opus Dei Is Contemplating Approval For This Unholy Method Of Self-Flagellation.

 

ITS A SLINKY MINI STICK

Bloody Brrnoo Bastards … 

With A Runs-Right-Off-Your-Lip Product Description:

“… Facial Hair Removing Spring Threading Epilator Depilator Shaver Stick Spring Hair Removal Tool …”

… Still, Ouch-As-Frangipane!

 

FACE TATS: MICROBLADING

I Get Orange Is The New Black … 

But, One Needn’t Do A Stretch In Litchfield Prison To Get Tatted Brows.

I’m Not A Fan Of Semi-Permanent Anything.  Jusaying.  It’s On Me.

“I Have A Problem With Staring When Poor Brows Have Been Slayed, Scraped, Scratched … Then Pigment Sprayed Under The Skin.”

 

PURIFIED EYEBROW SERUM

Its A Volumizier … Its An Enhancer.

A Crock Of Follicle Follies?

“Who Doesn’t Want To Be Smothered With A Polyphytobase Complex Of Active Phytomolecules, Zinc And Biotin?”

… As Long As We’re Saving The Planet From Depleting Sources Of Prostaglandin And Paraben, I’m In, Darlings.

 

CAN’T WE BRING BACK THE UNIBROW?

No.

Not On My Watch.

Hair Today.

… Hair Tomorrow.

 

Photo by Jessica Gaudioso from Pexels

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