Tangelo Dreams

I WOKE UP WITH NOTHING ON

My Mind … This Morning …  

Except The Long Weekend.  Family Day.  Some Kindly Folks Call It; Some Nothing At All.

“Happens On The 3rd Monday Of February …”

Over Here On The Cool Canadian Patch Of Big Blue (Planet Earth).

 

AN INTERNATIONAL INCIDENT

Of Apocalyptic Proportions Would Transpire … 

If I Referred To My Beautiful Homeland As A Suburb Of The USA … No, Sir, We’ll Have Nunavut.

Summarily, I Would Piss-Off Nearly 38 Million Fellow CanucksAnd, Forced With A Dulled Plasticky, Brown-As-Merde, Swizzle Stick From Timmies (Iconic Makers Of Murky Caffeinated Water Masquerading As Coffee) Pressed Against My Pretty Throat … To Apologize – While Possibly Planting A Loving Smirk On The Faces Of My 331 Million American Cousins.  

“I Won’t Be The Cause Of An Irreconcilable Family Feud Spanning Borders, Distinct Cultures And Languages.  So, I’ll Just Say, ‘Hi, Friendly Neighbours/Neighbors’.  It’s A Beautiful Day.”

 

IT’S ALMOST A NATIONAL HOLIDAY (*)

Save For A Few Hold-Out Territories Way-Up-North and Atlantic / Maritime Provinces (Kind Of Like States But Without Governors, So Don’t Go Using Fancy Words Like Gubernatorial …).

” … That Frankly Don’t Know What-The-Hell They’re Missing By Going To Work The Day After Sunday, Because Who-The-Hell Actually Works On Mondays Anymore, Right?”

For Exclusively Canadian Goofballnomic Reasons: Canuckleheads – aka: Hosers, Frostbacks, Snowbirds, Canamericanos, Maple Syrup Slurperers – There Is Need To Label “Family Day” Something Completely Different, Depending On Where They Spend The Winter Hibernating.

… Québécois/Québécers Take A Pass.  Of Course, They Do.  Strictly Français Canadien Speaking.  Bon Vive, Mon Amis.

 

I’M HAPPLIY STILL FREEZING MY NUTELLA OFF

So, Joyfully … Playfully … Getting My Outdoor Prescription Of ‘Vitamin D’ Filled With Near Artic-Chilled Sunshine Radiating Ozone-Depleted Rays Through My Panoramic Sunroof … 

I Refuse To Hate The Weather Even If I Say I Do.  Sure, I Whine About It Here.  Mope About It Over There.  Get My Mittens And Toqué On.

“Let’s Call It ‘Under Loving’ Winter.”

Just Because The Cold Isn’t Behaving, Doesn’t Mean I Should Be Mean.

 

FUN FACT CONFESSION

I’ve Had A Snotty Nose Since New Year’s Eve …

Which Makes It Difficult For Me To Dream At Night.  Not Sure Why.  I Haven’t A Clue.

And, Last Night I Slept Like A Contented Man Livin’ La Vida Loca In La Maison Blanche.

… Snug And Smug As A Tangelo Bed Bug.

 

Image by S. Hermann & F. RichterPixabay

7 thoughts on “Tangelo Dreams

  1. charlypriest

    “Freezing my Nutella out” that was a good one. In my own family we often joke and not so jokingly actually that family is quite something, in most cases(in my family apart from me, mother, father) is better to keep them at bay and that friends quite often do more than your relatives. Quite true, and I don’t think is only my family, quite sure about that.
    Anyways I like your sarcastic ways of writing, goes with me.

    Like

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