Namaste Your Ass …

AWAY FROM THE FRIDGE

Ready For True Self Love, But Don’t Have Any Cool Pick Up Lines For The Hot Hook-Up In The Mirror?

The Calendar Isn’t On Our Side – Only 30 Blessed Days To The Spring Fling – Counting Down The Cool Rain Drops To The Warm Sunshine … To Get Our Collective Asses Out Of Winter Hibernation And In Over Drive.

“Some Place Special To Be – Little Nervous About Debuting The ‘New You’ To The ‘Old You’ … Or, Is It Going To Be The ‘Old Ew, Gawd No, What-The-Frangipane Happened, Not Again Ew’?”

Now, What Was The Big Plan For 2020 … Dropping 20 in 20?

 

HOW’S THE 20/20 PROJECT

Going, Going, Gone …

Or, Staying On, On?

“Oh, Those Goofy New Year’s Resolutions Should’ve Been Kyboshed By Now.  Put On Moth Balls.  Frozen Cryogenically.”

… Replaced With A Real Plan.  But, You Knew That.  Get In The Flow With A Soft Glow.

 

ARE YOU GOING TO TWIRL?

And, Release Your Inner Skinny B!tch – Dudes, I’m Looking At You, Too – When The Cherry Trees Bloom … 

Or Snicker.  Growl.  Cowl.  In The Fitting Room Mirror.

“Get Fussy And Huffy … When The Only Outfit From Your Cruise Wardrobe That Fits … Is The Elastic-Waist, Stretchy Capris … You’ve Commissioned For The First Port Of Call In Santorini.  Opa!  Nopa.  Shoulda Listened To Oprah!”

Let’s Not Shame Ourselves Out Of Self Love And Into A Week-Long Tryst Of Near Starvation Mode.  Boomerang Binge.  Go No-No On Yo-Yo (Ma) Dieting.  Try The Obvious Diet.

 

IT ALL COMES DOWN TO SWEATING THE PEE’S

Choose Your Weapon Of Mass Destruction – Or – Mass Construction … 

Peloton vs. Panettone.

What’s It Going To Be?  Bike vs. Bread.  Sweat vs. Sweet.  Gym vs. Grim.

Flat vs. Fat.  Trick vs. Treat.  Wit vs. Wheat.

 

PELOTON

Hop, Shuffle, Mosey – Namaste Your Ass Away From The Fridge – Get Your Butt Elevated.  Off The Sofa.

“Have You Ever Peddled To Nowhere, But Ended Up Sweaty, Panting Like A Potbelly Pig … Endorphin’d Up To The Gills With Feel Good Tingling Inside … Thrills In A Happy Place … With A Smiling Face?”

Busted A Righteous Move On The Treadmill.  Gone Elliptical.  Recumbent Bike.

“Led The Lululemon Posse In A Spin Class … In Pursuit Of The Peloton?”

 

PANETTONE

Oh, Dolce Pane Of Sweet Sugary, White Floury, Buttery Death …

Be Not What My Abdominal Dreams Are Made Of.

Dump The Dough, Boy.

“That’s Not The Jiggle You Want To Wiggle, Wiggle, Wiggle.”

 

LET MOTHER NATURE KNOW

You’re Still Part Of The Family … One Of Her Favorite’s … 

By Showing Up For Attendance Every Now And Then.

“Tail Out The Door.  Hit The Trail.  Go For A Walk.”  

Excuses.  Lies We Tell The Scale.  When The Mirror’s Not Listening.

 

GET UP OFFA THAT THING

And, Spotify Brown.  James Brown.  Ow.  Jump Back.  Kiss Myself.

Spin.  Its Like Twirling & Whirling.  With Some Dirty Funk Down Into It.  Like She’s Watching.

Groove Just To Groove.  Lady Marmalade.  Yeah, I Know What Baby-Making Music Means … It Ain’t This:

“Hey Sister, Go Sister … Coochy Coochy Ya Ya Da Da.”

“Get Up Offa That Thing” Lyrics
Songwriters: Deanna Brown, Deidra Yvonne Jenkins, Yamma Brown
© Warner/Chappell Music, Inc.
“Lady Marmalade” Lyrics
Songwriters: Kenny Nolan, Robert Crewe
© Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.
Image by Alexas Fotos from Pixabay

18 thoughts on “Namaste Your Ass …

  1. Jim Borden

    “Bike vs. Bread. Sweat vs. Sweet. Gym vs. Grim. ” love it.

    By the way, just to motivate you (or possibly make you give up) did you know that the world record for holding a plank is more than 10 hours?

    Liked by 3 people

Comments are closed.