Remember When Dumb Shit Mattered?

SWEATING THE SMALL STUFF

Living Life Our “Special Way” Was A Big Deal To Us … And, Only Us? 

Way Back When Carbs Were The Enemy.  Calories Counted.  Guys Wore Dirty Man Buns?

“… We’d Lost Our Fucking Minds Over Gluten; The Stretchy Stuff In Bread We All Love-To-Hate And Dump On Poor, Hungry Bastards For Chewing Baked Dough As Though They’d Killed Kittens … Went Monkey Shit Crazy In Mortal Fear Of Protein In Wheat Flour?”

… Because We’re Adorable, Obsessive Dinks.

 

YOU DOING YOU

Us Doing Us … Oprah Doing Planks … Fred Doing Barney.   

Hitting The Zenith Of Self Love Cross-Pollinated -Polluted With It’s All About Me To Epic Fails At The Altar Of I … We Nailed It: Substituting The ‘Less’ For ‘Ish’ …     

“… And, So Begat The Culture Of Neo-Giggityism And An Exoskeleton Egostorm Of Elevated Vanity To Follow To The Great Derailment Of Faith In Anything Other Than Self …”  

… After All, We’re Just Closeted Glenn Quagmires Trying To Get Some, Right?

 

WALKING NOWHERE WAS EXERCISE

Recording Every Single Step – Like We’d Discovered The Elixir Of Life / Fountain Of Youth – Left, Right, Left, Right …

On An Impossibly Ugly Chunk Of Digital Jewelry Dangling From Our Bony Wrists.

“Yapping To Anyone Within An Earshot Of Not Giving A Flipping Fuck About The Number Of Laps Around The Mall?”

… Oh, We’re Needy Trolls.

 

BLEACHED 2-PLY TREE BARK ON ROLLS

Wasn’t The God Of Currency … 

“We Collected Followers.  Counted Likes.  Gave Ourselves Blue Ribbons And Participation Trophies For Showing Up Even When We Didn’t Show Up.”

Our Value System Re-defined By Emoji’s.

… Acronyms And Abbreviations: Lexicons Of Texting.  LOL.  Language Of Lazy.

 

WE CURATED FRIENDS

Besties For Life … 

Formed Relationships.  Nurtured Fellowship.  Bonded Online.

“Without Ever Meeting In Person.  Ain’t So Bad.  Making Friends.” 

With A Click Or A Swipe.

 

DREAM TEAM: SPANDEX & DENIM

We Wedged Our Fat Asses Into Skinny Jeans … 

Never Once Thinking About The Poor Zipper Hanging In For Dear Life. 

Winked In The Mirror.  Cha-Cha-Cha.  ‘Sup?

“… How’d We Ever Convince Ourselves Delusion Was Only A Myth?”

 

Image by Jill Wellington from Pixabay

17 thoughts on “Remember When Dumb Shit Mattered?

    • Michael A. Kuch

      French Macarons, technically. Invented by an Italian, as you know. Or, cookies. Help yourself. Please eat as many as you like, but don’t take the last one. I’ll be introducing my signature blend of Gluten spreads, dips and marinades shortly. 😎

      Liked by 2 people

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