Day Of The Hypotarian

I’M THREE WEEKS IN TO SOMETHING

I’ve Been Doing On/Off For Over 30 Years …  

Let’s Go Back To Confessions Of A Hypotarian.

I’m Claiming Victory Progress.  I’m Not Getting Ahead Of My Hypocritical Self.  But, I’m Walking At A Quicker Pace.

“It Just Feels Better Eliminating Beef And Pork From My Diet.  I Can Look At Cows And Pigs, Again.  Like We’re Friends.  Sure, It’s Weird Between Us.  It Doesn’t Have To Be …”

 

CHICKENS, WE SHOULD TALK

It’s A Process … 

Weaning Off Poultry.  De-Clucking.

Reducing Is One Thing.  Taking A Hard Pass On Feathered Fowl.  Very Doable.

“I’ve Been Here Before.  I’m Back.  Flippy-Floppy.”  

 

WISHY-WASHY, FISHY-FASHY

If It – This Thing Of Mine – Needs To Be Labelled … 

My Current State-Of-Flux – Transitioning From Smug Reducetarian (Eating Less Animal Protein, Eggs, Butter) To Smarmy Flexitarian (Primarily Vegetarian-Based With Occasional Meat Consumption) – I’m Nearly Pescatarian (Fish+).

Confused?  Imagine How The Animals Feel?  Are We Friends, Or Are You Going To Turn Around And Y’Know โ€ฆ My Easiest Explanation:

“I’m Not Comfortable Being On The Other Side Of The Fork And Knife Any More.”

 

PLIGHT OF THE HYPOTARIAN

No, I Don’t Eat Hippopotamuses …     

It Means, I Might Fuck Up A Bunch Of Times.  It’s What Humans Do.  We’re Better At It Than Any Living Creature.

It Also Means, The 6-Pack Hibernating Under A Veil Of Carb Love, Will Likely Stay At The 2-Pack I’m Bragging On Now.

“There’s Worse, Un-See-Able Crimes Against Humanity.  Like Plumber’s Butt = Ass Cleavage.  Crotch Huggies.  Clingy Beater Tees.  Size-Inappropriate Anything.  Doug In Biker Shorts – Cojones Clammy Clampy – Sweating On The Elliptical.” 

 

IF THE HYPOTARIAN LIFESTYLE

Adds 42 Days To My Life, I’m Not Complaining …  

I Want To Go Out Strong.

My Way.

“… On Your Time, Dear Lord โ€ฆ”

 

Image by Public Domain Pictures from Pixabay

16 thoughts on “Day Of The Hypotarian

  1. Writer of words

    Carbs have been abundant here lately and they are making me feel unwell (and heavy and round and uncomfortable and full). I am typing this after a plate full of gnocchi which I adore but…they don’t adore me back.

    I love fresh veg, bitter greens etc. But I also like my proteins. Small farm sourced is the aim when I can get it. Combine both protein and veg and I’m happy. ๐Ÿ˜Š

    If I never eat pork again I won’t miss it.

    Liked by 2 people

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