Rockin’ The Canadian Tuxedo

SARTORIAL CANUCKS

If You’ve Never Had The Sweet Fortune … 

Of Meeting An Honest-To-Goodness True Canadian

Here’s What You Might Be Missing.  Or, Not.

… Sartorially-Speaking.

 

MOISTLY SPEAKING

Take Me, For Example – Closeted ‘Hoser’ – A Colloquial Slang Moniker Abbreviated From ‘Hose Head’ … Not Quite Endearing Nor Derogative Term For Canadians, Though It’s Clearly Preferable To ‘Frost-Back’ … What?

“Or Almost Any Of The 37 Million Other Folks North Of The 49th Parallel – That Imaginary Line Dividing Canada From The United States Of America On The South Side Of The Fence.”

We Can Drop All Of The Stereotypical Cultural Leanings, Identity Markers And The Whatnot Of Goofy Canadianisms.  Because, Canucks Are A Proud Moistly-Speaking Bunch – As Our Liberal Prime Minister Justin Trudeau Recently Quipped Through A Verbal Cringe-Worthy Blunder During A National Broadcast, While Addressing Fellow Canadians About Wearing Masks During The Pandemic.

Hey, Once You Scratch The Exoskeleton And Get Beyond The Fact That Canadians All Faintly Smell Of Sugarly Maple Syrup And Poutine And Hoppy Pilsner, We’re An Affable Tribe.  Until We Lace Up Skates And Get Down To Playing Ice Hockey Medieval-Style. 

 

HOSER NATION OF HOSE-HEADS

Proudly Rockin’ The Canadian Tuxedo In Any Season.

“It’s A 2-Piece National Treasure.  The Double D – Denim Jacket And Denim Jeans – Together.  In Infinite Of Shades Of Dungaree Blue … Indigo To Washed.”

Find It On Canadian A-Listers Like The Ryan’s – Gosling And Reynolds – Keifer.  Biebs.  Drake.  

Essential American Dudes – Chris Pratt, Robert Downey Jr., Sean Penn, Justin Timberlake, Pharrell Williams, Alec Baldwin.  Fashionista’s … J. Lo.  A Kardashian Or Two.  Iconic Brits Like Beckham.  But, Nobody Has Ever Rocked It Better Than Norris.  Chuck Norris With The Kick-Ass Beard.

 

SPRING 2020 COLLECTION

I’m Rolling Out An Updated Brokeback Mountain Jack-esque (Jake Gyllenhaal sans Stetson) Today …

Full Binary Mode.  Jusaying.  Arrow Flies Straight If There Was Any Doubt.

“So, Its A Levi® Button-Snap Western Shirt.  Not-Quite Skinny, But Damn Slim Enough Jeans For This Mesomorph.  And, A Cotton Tee.  Meh-be, A Quilted Zip Vest To Break The Early Morning Chill.”

Have You?  Have You Ever Dared?  Dared To Rock A Canadian Tuxedo?

 

Image by NickyPe from Pixabay

18 thoughts on “Rockin’ The Canadian Tuxedo

  1. Erica/Erika

    Hi Michael, “Moistly speaking” was a huge laugh out loud. I wonder if non-Canadians get it? I have yet to try Poutine. Does this not make me a true Canadian?

    Chuck Norris is a flashback.

    In answer to your question, yes, I have. Not recently. Yoga pants is my house uniform. A fun post!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Michael A. Kuch

      Hi, Erica. I would’ve loved to hear Mr. Trudeau’s response in private to his flub. I’ve tried poutine twice that I recall, once in Montreal and another time locally. It’s not an everyday nutritional staple, and of course, absolutely unnecessary to being a True Canadian.

      Double Denim is risky in a fashion sense. I’m more of a “as long as it’s size-appropriate” it’s good to wear anywhere.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. ashleyleia

    There was a shelter worker I used to encounter fairly regularly because of work, and I don’t think I ever saw him not wearing a Canadian tuxedo. When someone at work found out that he was engaged, everyone started speculating that he would be rocking the Canadian tuxedo for the wedding, too.

    Liked by 1 person

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