Picking A Pseudonym

I’M NOT A FAN BOY OF PEN NAMES

Made-Up Monikers Sound Smuggly – Pretentious-As-Frangipane – Obvious In The Most Unnecessary Way.

“Like Picking Apples. Why Bother When One Juicy Red Nugget Will Eventually Fall From The Tree If You Hang Around Long Enough? Its What Die-Hard, Cracker-Jacked ‘Fruitarians’ Do … Loitering In An Orchard Waiting For Fruit To Drop On Their Melons … When They’re Not Waiting For Seeds To Pop Out Of Their Tightly Closed Pods … And Into Their Wide Open Pie-Holes.”

As A Side Dish, I’m Planning On Going Apple Picking Soon. As In Likely Tomorrow. To A Local Fruit Farm Where One Must (Actually) Pay To Pick Their Own.

Never Mind For Now … Spoiler Alert: It’s Almost Autumn. Harvest Time. I’m A Reducetarian/Flexitarian Damn It. Not A Fruitarian. I Don’t Play By Their Rules.

ANYWHOODLES

Unless You’re Enrolled In A Witness Protection Program – Who Isn’t These Days? – Or Forced/Elective Incognito Status. Hates Their Dumb Birth Name? Or, Can’t Remember It …

I Don’t See The Point On Scribbling Under An Assumed Name.

Sure, If You’re J. K. Rowling And Decide To Go Way Off Genre And Write Shitty Adult Erotica … Go At It, Hermoine.

“Wait, J.K. Is A Pen Name?”

IT’S POSSIBLY NONE OF MY BUSINESS

What Some Folks Choose To Call Themselves …

“I Didn’t Have A Choice With Kuch – Sure, It’s Cool As Warm Butter Tarts & A Chilled Root Beer In A Frosted Mug – Way-The-Effigy Better Than The What It Was Supposed To Be And Thankfully Wasn’t, If Only Papa Lothario Manned Up And Paid For The Privilege To Name His Son … Yeah, I’m Still Ripping On The Father Who Wasn’t.”

And, Besides, I Look Precisely What A Kuch Should Resemble.

Dontchathink?

NOM DE PLUME

Qui?

I’m Getting Ahead Of My Self – Two Words – Same Guy.

So, I Made A List. Crossed Out A Bunch. Can’t Decide.

“Wanna Play? Help Me – Help My Self – Choose A Name That Doesn’t Suck. Open For Suggestions. Except Cassandra (Taken). K-Drizzy (Done That). Or, Kyle.”

HERE WE GO NOW

There’s Meh To My Madness …

I’ve Included A Few ‘No Yo Ditten’ Selections

Goofing On Celebs

Ligation-Proof.

MY FAVS?

Doug Las Velveeta

Vichy S. Soise (The Name Is Ssoise. Vichyssoise.)

Clementine Ste-Augustine IV

Miguel Escobar Patron

AND THESE CELEBRA-CENTRIC DITTYS …

Wylie E. Wabbit

Tim Kruise

Free Oprah

Broose Kardashian

I’M THINKING …

Xavier Bertrand Americano

Chino Pantaloons

Milo-Milos Moo-Moo Ma

Buck Barista

MONO MONIKERS

Tangelo

Booyahka

Cecchi

Oodles

Image from Pixabay

26 thoughts on “Picking A Pseudonym

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