The 7 Or Was It 9 Of Us?

WALK INTO A BAR

Stop.  Back Up.  To The Beginning …  

Okay, we didn’t actually get in to the bar.  Not on the first couple of attempts.  That would’ve been way too easy.  Of course, My Brethren don’t Do Easy easily.

Epic Fails also isn’t our thing.  And, No is never an option.  Such was the elevated conundrum in imminent need of a viable solution.  Then again, collectively-speaking, we had 3 Undeniably “Jealous Much?” Essential Things Going For Us: Continue reading “The 7 Or Was It 9 Of Us?”

We Should Talk

GIRLS, PLEASE SAY SOMETHING, ANYTHING

The Guys Need Help … Tout de Suite … 

This mess has gone beyond My Humble, Always Jaded Opinion … from Bad Sci-Fi to The Un-See-Able Mortification of Vanity.

An intervention of Armageddon proportion is needed to Save The Males from Themselves, because the Ragazzi are not going to do it alone.

 … I Promise To Help Where I Can, But Please Keep In Mind I May Be Part Of The Problem. Continue reading “We Should Talk”

An Idiot’s Guide To Time Travel

EDITOR’S NOTE

It’ll Enrich The Reader’s Experience … 

To recognize and celebrate we’re all Dumb As Mud on occasion.  While for some, such occasion happens daily … mine dropped midweek.  Sort of.

You needn’t be Einsteinian to comprehend what follows.

In fact, that would be a hindrance to its enjoyment, because none of it is rooted in Scientific Dogma, which I’ve since discovered isn’t a brand of nutritionally-balanced food for smart canines. Continue reading “An Idiot’s Guide To Time Travel”

My Valentine To Walmart

I GOT ALL COLLOQUIAL ABOUT IT

Wearing My Best Worst Resting Pr!ck Face … I Dropped:

“Oh, No You Ditten.”

Delivered with just enough of a hint of Incredulous Sarcasm warmed over by Hurry It Up, Saturday Mornings Don’t Last Forever, Daisy … 

To clue in the obvious that neither one of us wanted to be there … to the smartphone-brandishing, dismissive Little Miss As-If-Whatev’s hiding in plain sight behind the Big Blue Counter of Purgatory … about the two most important parts of Customer Service:

Nice-ish Paying Customer (All About Me) and At-Least-Feign-The-Part-Of-Giving-A-Hey-Now-About-Service (All About You). Continue reading “My Valentine To Walmart”

Sunday Is My Unday

SLEEP AVOIDED ME THIS WEEK

Mind Chatter – Background Noise Of Discontent – Pre-empted And Derailed All Hope Of Resting … 

A Good Night’s Sleep was something I couldn’t even dream about.  How’s that for poetic irony?

Malaise crept in.  Focus slipped out.  I drifted into a numb trance.

… Uncertainty filled the void, anchored by Worry and Thoughtless Thoughts.  Continue reading “Sunday Is My Unday”

Carl

ABOUT TIME

I Formally Introduced Carl … Carlos … Carlito … 

Cee for short.  The dude goes by several hip monikers.

He’ll answer to almost anything starting with a C, including Charlie, but don’t ever call him Chuck unless the two of you are tight.

… Just The Way He Is About Certain Things … Continue reading “Carl”

Play Nice

“YA DA-UHM PHA-UHK”

Is What I Heard Him Say …    

Annunciated phonics.

Clever.

Delivered in a dialect void of thought, reason and purpose.

I doubt Hope was anywhere to be found … and Forgiveness as foreign as Love … in his hub of a miserable life.

Brandishing Hate – at will – fermented by misdirected rage was all he could offer leaning through the open window of his pick up truck. Continue reading “Play Nice”