Love Gone, Baby

IT HURTS THE WAY LOVE SHOULD

Here Goes … A Quiet Scream …

I Can’t Do This Anymore – My Mind Says So, That’s Who – My Heart Beat Me To It This Time … You Go Heart!

“None Of It … Soul Rat Me Out, You Fink Bastard, You Always Tell The Truth … Your Version, Anyway.”

A Blank Screen Yelling At Me? Me Staring Back. Sleeping With My Back To The Page … Irreconcilable Or Just Differences?

CRAZY SWEET TENDER

Bat Shit Style – Guano, Guano, Guano – Trying Singing It To Quando, Quando, Quando Like Sir Humperdinck Did, Or Not, Really Don’t …

All Good With It – The Bloody Indecision Is Over – Except Acceptance: Its Gone.

The Will. The Desire. In Me …

No, No, No.

THE LAST DAY OF NOVEMBER

Kuched Is Closing Up … Expiring On WordPress

I Hope For Good. I Hate Waking The Undead.

Going Out. Bangless. Bang-Starved. No More Banging The Drum.

“Something Better Around The Bend?”

WHYN’T?

Its A Heartbreaking Little Piece About No Peace In The Broken Heart Lost By The Promise Of Words Gone, Baby …

For Weeks I’ve Tried Writing Another Bit About Fighting Hunger … Because It Matters To Me And I Failed At Compassion, Which Never Happens. And, I Couldn’t Or Wouldn’t And Didn’t. Find My Voice To Speak My Passion.

” … n’t And Me … We’ll Never Be Friends.”

I’m Shooting Blanks And Even Then I’m Missing The Target, Which Doesn’t Make Any Damned Sense – See What I Mean? – Nothing’s Coming Out. It’s All Stuck Inside Where None Of It Means A Thing. Damned, Alright.

C’MON BACK WHEN YOU’VE GOT SOMETHING TO SAY

Meh-Be.

Empty – Is – All. All I Get, When I Get Nothing. But Wax Sans Poetic.

Blank Isn’t Enough To Sustain Me. Dreams Of What?

I’m Hungry. Lost My Appetite.

When I Hiccupped And Love Came To Town. I Blinked … Gone, Gone, Baby.

ONE LAST CHA-CHA …

… For The Road. Remember Back When? When We Skipped The Light Fandango?

A Few More Dripples Of Drivel. Cryptic Cranial Cavity, I Need To Feed You.

We’ve Got Some Time Left. Together. This Is One Long Good Bye / Riddance.

Let’s Laugh While It Lasts.

Preamble To “Kookaburra Me”

An excerpt from ‘Kookaburra Me– Copyright © 2020 by Michael A. Kuch

BROUHAHA.  BASTARDO.  BÊBÊ.

“Not Funny, Kook!”

None of the Beautiful Shit masquerading as Mia Dolce Vita was my idea, except Part III – Act VII, the penultimate scene where I perish – or do I? – in a Shiitake mushroom plume of ash, vapor and chunks of molten lava at the smoldering base of Mauna Loa … a reluctant Mannchylde Martyr hedging on a big, fat promise to save Humanity from it’s nasty-assed self while a paparazzo potschkes with the lens cap and misses the Magma Enchilada exploding on my impromptu photo bomb.

Continue reading “Preamble To “Kookaburra Me””

Kooka, Kə-pēsh?

THE DROP-OUS

I’ll Bite Nearly Anything – If It Dangles Close Enough To My Pearly Grill – And Surrender To The Occasional Notion … That The Blogosphere Will Survive Nicely With Or Without My Acrimonious-cum-Sanctimonious-cum-Unctuous Offerings.

Though It’s Not Nearly Enough To Convince Either Of My Polarizing Alter Egos – Uppity Me Or My Shameless Self – That A Few Ripe Chapters Of Kookaburra Me Shouldn’t Find A Tidy Domicile On Kuched In The Coming Weeks.

Capisce – Kə-pēsh – Capeesh.

“So, What The Frangipane Is Kookaburra Me?”

Continue reading “Kooka, Kə-pēsh?”

The Hurr(a)y Up & Wait, What Just Happened?

IT’S ABOUT TO BE A MESS OVER HERE

I’m Not Quite Sure “How This Cluster-Dump-It-On-Mick” Situation Came To Be …

Specifically, How-In-The-Everglades I Inherited The Honor And Implied Obligation Of Hosting Thanksgiving Dinner Today, Because Antsy-Pants Canadians Need To Do This Charade On The Second Monday Of October Getting A Sizeable Jump – International Bragging Rights – On Their American Cousins South Of The Border By 45 Days.

I’d Like To See A Saw-Off And Both Countries Come Up With A Mediated Settlement Of Joint Turkey/Tofurky Holidays On Or Around The Half Way Point.

“Oooopsy – That’s Halloween On October 31 – Scrap That Idea, Darling.”

THE BIRTHDAY WEEKEND THAT WASN’T

Hey, I Know … It’s The Worst Kept Secret Since My Half-Year (Annual 0.5’er) Extravaganza Last April – Has Seen At Least Three Different Itineraries Planned And Pooped Out.

I Can Point Fingers At My Immediate Family; However, They’re Not Entirely Receptive To The Idea Of Blame, And The Fleshy Digits Will Inevitably Lead Back To Me – My Big Mouth – And The Voluntary Sucker For Self-Flagellation In The Kitchen.

“In The Interim, I’ve Been Ornery As One Can Be, Being Laid Up From My Allegiance To Quasi-Vaxxy-Friendliness, I Confess …”

I Was Pricked Twice By Nurse Smiley On Thursday For Vaccinations Meant To Ward Off Hepatitis A & Hepatitis B (Twinrix) And Shingles (Shingrix) – So, My Plans To Spend A Night Away Got Quashed In The Scrotum And Other Areas Of The Under Carriage, Because The Side Affects Of Two Shots To My Shoulders Left Me Feeling Uneasy Queasy.

THE RAGAZZI, NEPHEW AND FORMERISH B-I-L

Are Converging On The Grotto At 4 PM …

In An Couple Of Minutes I’ll Be At The Kitchen … Spotify On … Looking For My Mind And Where To Begin To Unravel The Royal Heap Of Non-Prepared Food Stuff In Front Of Me: Contemplating A Massive Smoked Ham (Bone In) And Turkey (Boneless – New To Me – Didn’t Know A Certain Flock Of Turkey’s Are Born Sans Bones, But That’s The Beauty Of Science, Sorcery And Cookery).

And Their Friendly Side Kicks: Potatoes (Mashed, Skins On) – Roasted Brussel Sprouts (Flown In Direct From Belgium) And Tre-Colored Carrots (Orange, Yellow And Let’s Go With Purple) – Mixed Salad – And Assorted Why Bother? Accoutrements (Stuffing, Cranberry Sause, Yadacetera). Plus, Whatever Desserts The Lads Are Bringing. I’ve Probably Missed A Few Items.

“Regret Comes To Mind – I’m Wiped Already – Here’s A Smile.”

Image by Alexas Fotos from Pixabay

Sweddah Rosso

I’VE NEVER DREAMED OF BEING A PLUMBER

Until I Read … Heard About … Possibly Added To … An Urban Myth That More Plumbers Drive Ferrari’s Than Lawyers.  Makes Sense To Everyone Except Attorneys.  Because Nothing Goes Better With Butt Cleavage Than Corso Rosso The Iconic Ferrari Racing Red — The Only Color Of The Famed Italian Marque Its Fickle Fanboy Tifosi Wear. Continue reading “Sweddah Rosso”

“Writer Of Words, Etc.”

Entry Two In FRIENDS-OF-KUCHED” Week

WHAT I LOVE ABOUT …

Claudette Labriola’s Blog – “Writer Of Words, Etc.” – Is The Writer’s Satirical Expose Chronicling The Tribulations Of Parenting And Domestic Life For What It Truly Is: Living Hell, Anchored By Morning Coffee Perks And Evening Wine “Calm-The-Fuck-Down” Decompression Sessions … With A Few Sweet-Ass MeanMom™ Rantrums Squeezed In.     Continue reading ““Writer Of Words, Etc.””

What’s The Question?

YOU TELL ME

I’ve Given The Correct Answers Below … 

“Yes, They’re Arbitrary.  Despotic, C’mon Now Don’t Be Like That?  Random Enough.”

Your Turn To Be The Q.

… Shouldn’t Be Hard.  G’Head, Don’t Be Shy.  … Ask The Questions Like No One’s Reading?

 

1) THE ANSWER IS …

“… Because It Felt Good At The Time, That’s Why.”

2) THE ANSWER IS …

” … Anyway, I Didn’t Know The Guy Was A Real Cop.”

3) THE ANSWER IS …

” … True.”

4) THE ANSWER IS …

” … Because I Thought This Stuff Stayed In Vegas.”

5) THE ANSWER IS …

“… I Swear It Looked Ripe To Me.”

 

Image by Mylene2401 from Pixabay

 

Awesome Blogger Award

DANKESCHÖN, SOVELY MATTERS

For This Wonderful Accolade And Nomination … 

Sovely Is The Creative Soul Of MurmelMeister.

“A Blog So Passionately Crafted To Reward The Reader With Blossoms Of Love, Music, Poetry, Soul Food … Infused With An Unfettered Awakening And Celebration Of The True Human Spirit.”

So, There’s A Sunshine, Liebster, Special, Barnabas (In-Waiting), And Now, An Awesome Blogger Award Nomination To Crowd My Virtual Mantel Of Blogging Bling.  Grazie, Darlings.

ABOUT THE AWESOME BLOGGER AWARD

“This is an award for the Absolutely Wonderful Writers all across the blogging world.  They have beautiful blogs, are kind and lovely, and always find a way to add happiness and laughter to the lives of their readers.  That is what truly defines an awesome blogger.”

RULES TO BE PART OF THE AWESOME BLOGGER AWARD 
  1. Thank the person who nominated you.
  2. Tag the post with #awesomebloggeraward.
  3. Answer the questions you were asked.
  4. Nominate at least 5 bloggers and inform them of their nomination.
  5. Give them 10 new questions to answer.
QUESTIONS FOR KUCHED

When are you happiest?  The time I spend with my two sons, Uno e Dewey.  Writing.  Praying.  Supporting the Daily Bread Food Bank.  

Do you prefer happiness or challenging situations?  I’m almost always in a happy mood, frequently bordering on natural euphoria – must be the sweet pheromones jacked up inside – except for moments of other normal emotions that get in the way of permanence.  Happiness is fleeting, finicky, and unfulfilling beyond a momentary flight of self-satisfying random occurences, which isn’t sustainable.  I don’t pursue, or often think about, happiness.  It simply exists for me.  I don’t miss it if it’s slumbering or absent.  It always comes back when it needs a heart to hug and a mind to play with … Happiness may be something as innocuous as ice cream melting.  Laughing after crying.  Playing with my dog.  A warm or cool breeze.  Challenging situations appeal when there is a drive to attain a desired goal, result or achievement.  I strive for Purpose, Truth In Self, Wisdom Beyond Knowledge, Potentiality Of Love and Personal Betterment … omnipresent challenges, never-ending.  

What is the best thing happening to you past week?  Forging through an extended period of creative voids and abstinence to allow a story to permeate within me – honoring the process to nurture rather than forcing unnecessary words for the sake of writing – then hitting a moment of creative bliss where it abundantly spilled onto the pages as though I had discovered a secret passage into an inspirational sanctum.

What is the most useful thing you own?  My Mind.  My Hands.  My Heart.  My Imagination.  My Faith.  My Self.  My Strength.  My Sense Of Humor … Library Card.  Brita Water Filter.  Plumbing.  NH95 Face Mask.

For what in your life do you feel most grateful?  God’s Grace and Forgiveness.  My Mother’s lifetime of unselfishness and sacrifice for her children.  Mio Ragazzi. 

What makes you laugh the most?  My dog.  My sublime idiocy and self-deprecating humor.  Things I say aloud when I’m alone.  Mocking myself.  I’ve always made myself laugh.  I think I’m humorous, though I’m not sure …   

What is something you like to do that other people would probably consider “weird” if they knew?  I often go to see films alone.  I dance when I’m alone to my curated Spotify playlists.  I use purifying facial masks a couple times a year as a devout and practicing Metrosexual Man.  Also, I’ve given myself a deplorable (unspeakable) nickname to keep me humble … because humility is Self Love.  I’ve trimmed my hair twice during the pandemic.   

What was the most thoughtful gift you made?  I was about 7 or 8 years old and I had crafted a paper necktie in school for Father’s Day … Thoughtful, wishful, perhaps back then only because I’ve never met my father.   

What’s the best topping/ice cream combination?  My lips are the topping … over Chocolate Tartufo.

What’s your idea of heaven & hell?  Life on Earth.  It’s the same place.  We’re simultaneously co-habitating in the delusion of Good and Evil, though we’re all too preoccupied with nonsense, ignorance and hoarding 2-ply bleached tree bark to tell the difference … and, even if we could, would we really know what to do about it?

How do you feel about diversity?  For Millennia, Drones Of Social Engineering – Religion, Government, Education, Military, Media – have persecuted courageous individuals and groups merely wanting to be recognized and valued for their inherent differences.  Shame on The Institutional Whores masquerading as Leaders of Humanity.  Future generations will live a truer, authentic existence … until Artificial Intelligence usurps their freedom and liberties, and then the Neo-Persecuted will wax poetic about the Good Old Days when Humans had the right to hate, judge, ridicule, slaughter and enslave one another instead of being censored, cloned, euthanized and de-Humanized by a herd of fuckless robots.  So, be as different, as genuine, as unique, as blessedly purposeful … as singular as God Created you.  

What is your most favorite blog post that did not get enough attention yet?  “In Me Still …” was soul-effacing to write and share publicly.  It’s the closest script to poetry I’ve ever written and recounts a dark childhood trauma … decidedly cryptic, I’m unconvinced it revealed the truth entirely.

What’s your favorite question to ask?  “What’s Your True Purpose in Life?” … “How Can I Help?” … “Didn’t I Pay Last Time?”

What was the meanest thing you’ve ever done?  Lied about the truth.  Killed an insect.  Hurt people emotionally who care about me …

Which jobs would you like to try out, if you had a chance?  Priest (Confessions and Exorcisms only).  Film Director.  Architect (during The Renaissance).  Organic Farmer.  Sign Painter.  Dirty Dancer.  Surfer.  Typography Designer / Font Artist.  Namer Of IKEA Products.  Millennial Whisperer.  Crafter of Artisanal – Small Batch – Kitty Litter.

You’re good at? Short List:  Quick wit.  Making myself laugh.  Telling the truth.  Holding hands.  Chivalry.  Ironing shirts.  Making homemade … Bolognese sauce, Jambalaya, Chilli, Beans & Rice, Kasha, Omelets, Oatmeal, Lasagne, Espresso … Kissing.  Free-style Dancing.  Pinching fat babies.  Flossing the hard to right spots.  Pouring a nice head on a Lager.  Annoying friends.  Getting out of bed.  Foreplay.  Making up new words.  Screwing up grammar.  Using a Corkscrew.  Snorting when I laugh.  Shaking my head.  Cloaking my heart when I’m smitten … Watching movies.  Doodling.  Staring at people in public.  Blinking.  Counting backwards.  Mocking.  Telepathy.  Empathy.  Crying in church.  Day Dreaming.  Shadow Puppets.  Modesty/Immodesty.  Being an asshole when I’m cranky.  Drinking from a glass.  Throwing snowballs.  Losing focus when I’m bored.  Pretending to listen.  Asking questions when I already know the answer.  Falling asleep.  Not caring/Over caring.  Answering questions when I don’t know the answers … Writing cryptic, random nonsense, then tapping publish on my blog.

14 QUESTIONS FOR THE FABULOUS NOMINEES
  1. What’s wrong with you?
  2. Do you prefer pie or cake?
  3. Can you be trusted with a lie?
  4. What’s your favorite swear word?
  5. Are you better at kissing or writing?
  6. Have you ever mistaken Lust for Love?
  7. When was the last time you slow danced?
  8. Is there something you’d like to tell the world?
  9. Who would win in a fight: Godzilla or Hello Kitty?
  10. What musical instrument do you look like the most?
  11. What’s your first impression when you look in a mirror?
  12. Have you ever worn underwear from a person of the opposite sex?
  13. Finish this sentence anyway you like: “Bartholomew, I don’t know any damned Bartholomew …”
  14. Do you think Ecru deserves to be a distinct color, or should it just go back to a being a miserable shade of boring-ass Beige and lose its uppity-as-fuck attitude just because it’s friends with Taupe?
MY NOMINEES

Truly Awesome Are My 5 Chosen Nominees Of Impossibly Gifted Writers And Bloggers I Follow Regularly:

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