Purple. Pricks. Popsicles.

IS THERE A BETTER WAY

To Imitate A Rainbow … Than By Tie-Dyeing A T-Shirt?

Possibly, Like Noshing On Skittles Watching Light Refract Through A Glass Prism.  Grazie, Bill Nye.  The Science Guy.

“Or, Getting Out A Garden Hose And Arching A Spray Of Mist Through Sunny Rays While Slurping An Orange Popsicle … Feeling Its Sugary Juice Melt Down Your Chin.  There’s That.  Plus, Its Mildly Erotic.”

For The Moment, I Can’t Find My Prism And Its Dark Outside As I Write.  Also, I’m Fresh Out Of Popsicles And Sunshine, Which I Normally Have Jacked Up At Home.

 

DIGRESSION: ONCE UPON MY 11 YEAR-OLD SELF

Back When I Was Morphing From Little Mikey – I Know, Cute AF, Right? – To Just Mike … These Are Pre-Michael Days … So, Mich-less, But On My Way To Mick.  Always, Kuched.

“I Was Doing Fifth Grade Penance In Mr. Cortese’s Home Room Class At Parkdale Public School.  By The Way, Cortese – Anthony – Was A Prick.  Tony The Tiger Dick.”  

T-Boner Was One Of Two Assholes I’ve Had For Teachers.  The Other Ass Stain Was My Seventh Grade Music Teacher, Mr. Tracey.  A Buddy Holly Clone.

Cortese Knew That I Knew He Was Mean And Miserable, And It Bothered Him That A Kid Had Figured Out His Shortcomings.  Condescending.  Heterophobic Before It Was A Thing.  Weird-To-Creepy.  It Was Twinky’s Shitty Class Where I Learned To Tie-Dye And Make A Beautiful Mess Of Color.

 

BACK TO ART – THE CLASS – NOT GARFUNKEL

I Remember A Couple Things …  

“Rolling And Twisting The Plain White T-Shirt Infinite Ways.  This Would Come In Handy A Few Years Later Watching An Older Brother Roll Joints From Skunky Home-Grown Weed He Attempted To Cultivate On The Window Sill Of The Bedroom We Shared.”  

Tying Thick Rubber Bands Around The Chunk Of Cloth.  And, Dipping.  Without Latex Gloves.

The Dye Job Came Out Mostly Purple – On Purpose – And Green, With A Pretty Halo Of Yellow And Blue.  My Preferred End Of The Color Spectrum.  Is There Any Significance To These Color Choices?  Yes.  My T-Shirt Looked Cool-As-Shit.  And, It Pissed Tony The Twink All The Way Off.

 

THE COLOR PURPLE

I Was Pretty Sure I’d Invented It Around 1973 …

Turns Out I Didn’t.

“One Fateful Sunday Morning, I Saw A 1970 Plymouth Barracuda In Plum Crazy Purple Muscle Down The Street While I Sat My (Then) Scrawny Ass On The Front Steps Sucking My Chops Through A Popsicle.”

Watched My Two Loves Having An Affair.  Cars – And – Purple.

 

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon from Pexels

50 Tips For Coping With Isolation (by Some Kind of 50)

HEY, FOLKS

Figured I’d Try Something New And Share The Love … Blogger-Style …   

The Post Below – 50 Tips For Coping with Isolation – Comes Courtesy Of Karen Harding from SOMEKINDOF50.

“It’s Cool.  You’ll Like It.  Thank Karen.”

Peace.  Love.  Blessings (Any Order)

Michael Kuch

 

What strange times we find ourselves in. A few months ago, none of us had heard of Covid-19 or Coronavirus, but its impact on all of us over just a few short weeks has been staggering. 1,721 more words

via 50 Tips for Coping with Isolation — S O M E K I N D O F 5 0

Preamble To The Way Back Home (Part 1)

MY BLESSED DAY AT THE DAILY BREAD FOOD BANK

I arrived twenty-two minutes early, parked Blue, and sat listening to my daily Spotify-curated eclectic mix – Classic Rock Anthems courtesy of Seger, Springsteen and the Rolling Stones … drizzled with bubble-gummy ABBA, Boney M and yeah, the Brothers Gibb stuttering Ja-Ja-Ja-Jive Talkin’.  The Gap Band got the funk all the way down with Party Train ending the set.  I needed something to lift the malaise draping over me.  Music, for once, didn’t get it done. Continue reading “Preamble To The Way Back Home (Part 1)”

That’s What She Almost Said …

This post originally appeared December 4, 2019 on Kuched.  Though it received many positive comments and views, I deleted it.  Thought it may have been a little Self Inflamed.  Ego Rendered.  Get Over Myselfish.  But, its Just Me … Talking.  I own these words.  Cryptic to Gospel.  Added a bunch more on the version below.  If you think I’m writing this Friction Fiction about you?  Nah.  It’s All About Me even when it isn’t …    

Continue reading “That’s What She Almost Said …”

Bah-Nahn-Ers!

WHENEVER I THINK ABOUT IT

I Can’t Write Worth Widgets … 

Which Is What I’m Doing Now.  Small Stall Tactics.  Yellow, Mellow, Fellow.

“Consider This Beautiful Bit Of Nothing A Warmer Upperer To Wash Out My Cryptic Preoccupation Of Bananas.”

… Still, Though.

 

Photo by Couleur from Pexels

Take It Easy (Kuched Over)

EAGLES

Well I’m a-runnin’ down the road try’n to loosen my load

I’ve got seven women on my mind

Four that want to own me, two that want to stone me

One says she’s a friend of mine.

 

KUCHED

Well I’m a-runnin’ down the street try’n to loosen my heat

I’ve got eleven women on my mind

Six that want to atone me, four that want to clone me

Only one says she’s a friend of mine.

 

“Take It Easy” Songwriters: Jackson Browne, Glenn Frey

© Red Brick Music Publishing

 

Image by OpenClipart-Vectors from Pixabay