The Bane Of Holiday Jumpers

DON’T CHA JUST WANNA SMACK …

Every Last One Of The Greedy Bastards?

“The Avaricious Whoring Of Holiday Retail Merchandising Has Leapt Way-Out-Of-Season And Out-Of-Bounds.”

Christmas Lights strung over Jack O’Lanterns!  Blasphemous. 

So, What’s It Going To Be:  Trick or Treat – or – Seasons Greetings?

 

FAKE SNOW

Is It … On The Giant Inflatable Easter Bunny?

Aisle #5 next to the Winter Gardening Tools.

Black Friday Sales on a Tuesday in August!

Genius Marketing.

 

HEY, WE’RE CONFUSING THE KIDS …

The Poor Things Barely Know “Which Gender They Want To Be When They Grow Up … 

And, this Atrocity of Mishmash Seasonally Ambiguous Merchandising hasn’t helped our collective Identity Crisis. 

Is it still illegal to wish anyone Merry Christmas?  

… I Won’t Tell If You Don’t.

 

I GET IT

Holiday Commercialism Is The Economic Messiah …  

Seasonal Employment Boosts.  Driving Year-End Profits.  And, Personal Debt.

High Priest of The Cash Cow.  A Cha-Cha Ching Thing.  I Do My Part.

“Retail Therapy … You’ll Get Over It, Darling.”

 

SHAMELESS PSA: BECAUSE I CARE …

We’ve (Just Barely) Survived The Gluttonous Campaign of The Canadian Thanksgiving – America, You’re Up Next – Gobble, Gobble Tofurky.

In the interim of Elevated Adult Boredom, we’re all Jonseing over Halloween.

Noshing-on-Candy before, during and after October 31st.  In between meals.  Insatiable accompaniment to Netflix Bingeing.  Flirting with early candidacy for Type 2 Diabetes – STOP – make wise choices.  You don’t need it.  Put it down.  Spit it out.  Now. 

My Tough Love.  Virtual Hug.  Saving All Y’all of Us from another unnecessary, avoidable New Year’s Resolution that we’re just going to break.  You’re Welcome.

 

SHAMELESS PSA: SUGAR LOBBY PIMPS GET A CONSCIENCE

Chocolate Loves Me, Loves Me Not … Oh, But She’s A Dark, Sweet Cocoa Temptress I Can Resist … When She’s Not Around Me.

You should know:

Sugar is not about to be short-listed for inclusion on any Endangered Consumable Sh!t That Is Good For You …

Kale Jerky will just as easily satisfy your Sweet Tooth.  Okay, that’s not true.  Nature’s Bad Boy Green is also the 463,829th Leading Cause of Cavities in Vegans.  

 

FUN FACT CONFESSION OBSESSION DIGRESSION

Are We Finally Done With Pumpkin Spice?

“Let’s … Give It A Break, Give It A Break, Give It A Break, Now.”

Does anyone truly like it?  Ditto Cinnamon.  Rhubarb.  Butterscotch. 

… Three Unforgivable Lies Our Taste Buds Keep Pushing Down Our Throats.

 

SANTA, SURE

Dress Me In Anything Red … I Look Creepy … And, Not The Nice Creepy Either.

All White.  Cartagena Blanco?  I look Institutionalized Creepier.

Red & White?

I Look Creepiest.

 

I’M KEEPING WITH TRADITION THIS YEAR

Sticking To The Schedule – Following the Calendar – Celebrating Holidays On The Day Of … 

So, there’ll be no Caroling in April. 

“You’re A Mean One, Mister Grinch.”

Or, Valentine’s in Whenever?

 

YOU SHOULD ALSO KNOW …

I’ve Been Humming “Auld Lang Syne” All Week.

Wishing Everyone …

“All The Best For A Happy & Joyous 2020.”

As I eat hide Chocolate Easter Eggs everywhere.

 

Image by Pixabay

Love Nosh

SUNDAY LEFTOVERS

Sharing My Lunch Today … 

Eating Clean – Forgiveness, Compassion, Tolerance – served on a Big Plate of Faith.

“Light On The Guilt, Please … I’m Saving Room For Gratitude.”

… My Monday Feast.

 

Image by Pixabay

Ah-May-Zing?

OF COURSE IT IS

If You Haven’t Already … I’m Asking Nicely … 

Now is the perfect time to stop using this insufferably hyperbolic Idiom.

To the habitual user (serial abuser), a kind request – consideration – to please refrain from another impulsive chorus …

… The annoyingly slow-as-molasses, exaggerative annunciation (of its three trite syllables) could use a sabbatical from popular social commentary vernacular. Continue reading “Ah-May-Zing?”

Play Nice

“YA DA-UHM PHA-UHK”

Is What I Heard Him Say …    

Annunciated phonics.

Clever.

Delivered in a dialect void of thought, reason and purpose.

I doubt Hope was anywhere to be found … and Forgiveness as foreign as Love … in his hub of a miserable life.

Brandishing Hate – at will – fermented by misdirected rage was all he could offer leaning through the open window of his pick up truck. Continue reading “Play Nice”

Confusing False Bravado With True Confidence: Self-Empowerment Built On Spiritual Strength

GIVE EGO A SLAP

It Takes All The Blame On This One.

Humility and Modesty are the true barometers of Spiritual Strength.

“Of the infinite misjudgements, tribulations and poor decisions I’ve curated in my adolescence, ushered through early adulthood and lingered on into middle-age, trumping up my confidence on a fatalistic foundation of bravado and conceit, was the most perilous work of an Ego Gone Bad.”

Continue reading “Confusing False Bravado With True Confidence: Self-Empowerment Built On Spiritual Strength”

Uncle Bart

An excerpt from ‘The Rose Consolation’ – Copyright © 2017 by Michael A. Kuch

I’M ZIGGY ROSE

Liar, Cheat and Thief.

If consolation for criminal ineptitude offers immunity from further judgement, I’m not very good at any of these.

A trite claim, I suppose, doesn’t make me any less culpable for what I’ve done. Continue reading “Uncle Bart”